The Mothers Day Interviews : Deborah Patrick

This year to celebrate Mothers Day, I've interviewed a group of Mums that I particularly admire. They are all Mothers with different experiences, views, stories and opinions. Some are from the blogging and social media world whilst others are ones I know in real life. I'm running the series through out this week and we'll be talking about birth stories, parenting advice, sleep deprivation and much, much more!

First up is Deborah Patrick (Debs), writer of the very popular blog Super Busy Mum. I know Debs through her Mad Mid Week Blog Hop which I regularly link up to each Wednesday. If you're on the look out for a new linky, give this one a try as there's a lot of variety and a nice community spirit to it! Debs is a Mum of five, living in Northern Ireland. She is getting married later on this year and is a keen photographer.

How did Super Busy Mum begin?
I was a SAHM with a very little {8wk old} newborn and a friend of my partners advised me to start up my own blog, having just done it herself also due to having a little baby at home also. I did, having never blogged before and I never thought I would keep it up but here I am, 2 and a half years later and I could not be prouder of my little corner of the internet. I am also not a natural writer. I'm one of those people with a funny accent who live in Northern Ireland who writes as she speaks! lol.

How do you feel about your social media following and influence?
When I started my blog I didn't realise you had to start up social media platforms to connect to it all. But I quickly learned and at first, I thought starting up a Facebook page for my blog was a stupid idea, like, who would like it? Then there is also Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter and so on. But looking at my social media audience now? I'm in awe and so thankful to everyone who follows me....I'm unsure on the influence I have but I'm just chuffed that people want to read what I am waffling about.

Why I'm Redefining Having It All

This post was originally featured on Littles Magazine.

The concept of having it all, is in my opinion a strange one. It's the idea that the woman, the Mother should strive to have an excellent career and a contented family life and that these things should exist in harmonious balance with one another. It's the idea that this is what all women want or at least should want, because its now (apparently) all available to us.

Ugh. How patronising.

I'm a full time working mother of one, with a husband who also works full time and co-parents with me in equal measures. Whilst I am not particularly qualified or financially well off, I would go as far as to call my vocation a career because it is specialised and I've been working on it for a long time.
Sounds like I've got it sorted doesn't it? Well some days I do, some days we get up, we get ready, I've made lunches the night before and everyone has clean underwear. Some days the toddler fully co-operates, he actually brushes his teeth and he lets us dress him without kicking Daddy in the balls. He's excited to see his Nanny or his friend Lily at nursery and he's bowling out the door with a huge grin on his face. On these days I've straightened my hair, I'm on time, I'm wearing that dress with the little brown belt and there are no ladders in my tights. These are the days that I, by definition look like I 'have it all'.

The Homeless Period: My 100

So here I am starting another article with George Osborne and my vagina. I'm not really sure how I got here, I really didn't intend for these two things to collide, blog related or otherwise but yet here I am, sitting at my laptop talking politics and pussy once again. Since I wrote that article, I've had a lot of people contact me and show their support by signing the petition set up by Laura Coryton. I think its fair to say the general consensus is that the tampon tax should be stopped and with the petition now exceeding 300,000 signatures hopefully we are well on our way to seeing that happen.

Through that piece of writing I became aware of The Homeless Period petition, a campaign to give homeless shelters an allowance to buy sanitary products. Currently, charities aren't receiving any extra help with this and they are dipping into donated funds to purchase them (inc. paying the luxury tax of course).

Marriage. Let The Games Begin.

So this is my kind-of Valentines post. I'm not really a fan of Valentines Day to be honest. I don't hate it - we do exchange cards and open some fizz but its all a bit of silly nonsense if you ask me. Something that should be quite simple, blown completely out of proportion.
That being said however, I have been with Finley this weekend, dropping off his handmade cards and chocolate heart shaped lollipops.  I mean that's just completely different and too cute to say no to.  Hypocrite.
So I'm not really doing a Valentines post but I will dedicate this post to my Valentine, my husband because well, it is about him.

Thursday night we had a 'debate'. He told me his cab back next week (from a friends house) would only cost £20, I told him he was an idiot and it would more likely be £100.  I told him we couldn't afford it, think how much a cab back is from town, I said, this is like five times further than that ! It will be far too expensive, you'll have to drive  I went on and on. He protested and I challenged him to phone the cab company for a quote, feeling pretty smug - sure of a victory. So he phones them and what do you know? The dam cab costs exactly £20. Fucking great.

#FabFridayPost Linky 12-02

This week I've been invited by the lovely Su over at Ethan and Evelyn to co-host her linky #FabFridayPost. I've been contributing to this linky for a while now and its boasts a variety of bloggers and posts. Its great for a Friday morning coffee or a Friday night glass of wine!
The posts can be about anything relating from parenting, lifestyle, crafts, reviews and related competitions. Please keep it friendly - we really like everyone to enjoy their time on this little linky!

Between us, Su and I will comment on every link and pick two posts to feature next week.

Here are the rules:

• You can link up to 3 posts – old or new.
• Please remember to add #FabFridayPost Badge – it is only fair that everyone plays by the same rules. If not, it will be deleted. 
• Share the love – please do not drop and run away! Comment on all of both host posts and also comment on at least 2 other posts, including the one in front of you. It makes us very sad when people runaway. After all that’s what it’s all about!

If you tweet your posts using #FabFridayPost to @ethannevelyn &  @realsareyfairy  - we will RT!

We look forward to reading your blogs xxx

When Your Toddler Holds You Hostage In Superdrug

Sometimes I forget that I'm still a first time parent. I feel like I've been a Mum for a while, its not all shiny and new and I should just know the answers by now. I mean you get all that when you have a new born, that feeling of not knowing what you're doing, not knowing how to hold them without their head falling off. Unsure of the normal temperature, the normal colour of poo, the normal amount of crying. You're supposed to not know when they are new and you are new at being a parent, its expected, its accepted. Its ok to hold your hands up and say 'Sorry I'm new at this, I don't really know what I'm doing!'. 
Trouble is, I'm not really sure I can do that now my first baby is a new toddler. I mean I'm more confident with my parenting skills than I was in those first few months, his needs are easier to read, mostly because they are being screamed at me from across the supermarket. I can assess the right temperature because I've realised that its either just too fucking hot or too fucking cold, it doesn't matter if you're nine months old or ninety. I don't worry about the colour of poo, I no longer phone my Mum about it. Two and half years in, I've seen it all or at least please God, I hope I have. Its been on my hands, in my hair, on the carpet, there's nothing in the poo department that can worry me now. We've kept him alive and reasonably well behaved, we used to congratulate ourselves on what a 'good baby' he was.

Then three weeks ago, he held me hostage in Superdrug.

Women With Influence

Last week the post I'd written last year, Don't Fear the C-Section re-surfaced itself on Twitter courtesy of Kirstie Allsopp. She'd come across it via a hashtag I assume, read my piece and deemed it worth a re-tweet to her 399k followers. How terribly exciting for me and very flattering of course. I've watched her television programmes for years and was quite taken aback by such a compliment. Fully aware that this would be the first and last time my blog received any level of notoriety from the outside world, I allowed myself to get a bit giddy about it, told anyone who would listen and congratulated myself with a large glass of wine at the end of the day. Oh yeah.
Then I got to thinking about why she'd done that, what was her motivation. Why does she care what I think about C-Section births? Kirstie Allsopp is typically known as a broadcaster of property programmes and has made a living selling vintage home ware and interiors. So I had a good google on her and discovered that it was a topic close to her heart, something she'd written an open letter about a few years ago. Having had two Cesarean births herself, she'd taken an exception to the "too posh too push" stigma and spoken out about how we should be better prepared for the eventuality of a C-Section birth, as now 1 in 4 results in one. Turned out she'd started a bit of a debate. With many women supporting and thanking her for speaking out and others slating her for promoting unnecessary birth intervention. She's not afraid to speak out about other women's issues either from her opinions on marriage and banning homework. Through to acknowledging your fertility window and considering putting that first before your education and career. You may or may not agree with her opinions but at least she has some and there relative and real. I found it really refreshing to see a woman with influence sparking a discussion about something important that actually relates to my life.

A History Of Anxiety

Anxious.
Its such a throw away word.
"I feel a bit anxious!" "I have anxiety about it." "I had a little panic attack."
Its a word we hear and use in casual conversation, to express our nerves or qualify our social awkwardness. Everybody feels anxious, you've just got to push through it and you'll be alright. Its such a shitty word, it lends itself to enable people  to talk about anxiety disorders as if they are not really illnesses. As if they are a self imposed state of mind for people who just need to relax a little.
I think I've lived with anxiety for the majority of my life. Its generally comes disguised as a very specific and tailored fear. Which then manifests itself deeper and further into my everyday life. Like when I was 8 years old and started refusing to go school, because I became terrified and transfixed on 'The Bad Book' being read out in school assembly. It is in truth quite a horrendous notion, that each Friday the list of 'Bad Children' was read out to the entire school and if your name was called, you had to stand up and be shamed. I hope nothing like that happens in Primary Schools these days. I spent my early twenties in a constant state of extreme anxiety. I don't mean that I was stressed or shy or a bit nervous. I mean that every day for five years, I had or fought off panic attacks. I mean that everything I did or didn't do was governed by the prison of my own mind. I built myself a tiny, little world with limits. I was quite safe there.