I Eat My Kids Easter Eggs

Hey did you know that its Easter next week? Yeah. For reals. It is Easter next week. How did that happen? I still have a box of Christmas decorations sitting on the landing waiting to go up in the loft.

I've committed a terrible sin against my son this year and asked people to steer clear of buying him too much chocolate. Not because I don't believe in chocolate for kids. I believe in it as a genius bribe and distraction technique. But because at Easter there is always such an excess of chocolate, family, nursery, friends - everyone's pelting chocolate eggs in his direction and he only ends up eating some of it, over that Easter weekend. And then do you know what happens? I eat it, well the good bits anyway. Yes, I eat his decent chocolate from the Easter Bunny (and from Santa as well). I know, I'm a terrible Mother. He's only two, he can't count past four, he's doesn't realise some are missing.

I also eat the cakes from his party bags, he never remembers.

So my plan this year is to stage an Easter Egg hunt for him using Aldi's FREE Activity Egg Hunt Printable which you can find here. It contains pre-written clues and blank ones so you can make up your own. Plus some handy arrows and START and FINISH signs. I'm going to pick up some plastic coloured eggs and fill them with different treats, some will have little chocolates like the Mini Beanie Eggs from Aldi and some will contain Thomas Mini's or Peppa Pig stickers.

Hopefully he wont get too much chocolate from the other Easter Bunny's in his life, I don't think my waist line could take it.

*This post was sponsored by Aldi but its all true inc. the Christmas decorations and what a terrible fat mother I am*

Happy Fuck It Fri-ayyy

'Mummmmy .... Daddddy!'
'Commme On....'
'It's Fri - ayyy'
'Commme On....'
'Commme On Now!'
'Fri - ayyy  Fri - ayyy'

This is what we woke up to at 5.30am last Friday morning. If it had not been "Fri-ayyy", I would have said a completely different F word under my breath. I would have rolled over and told my husband to 'ignore him' and prayed to every God I'd ever heard of, "please just this once make him go back to sleep".

But because it was Friday, I laughed.
I laughed and my husband laughed and got up and bought him in for a cuddle. Because who can resist an enthusiastic, life affirming toddler on a Friday morning? Not us that's for sure. The cuddle didn't really work out (does it ever?), the constant wriggling and sticky feet jabs to the ribs soon put pay to that idea and by 6am we we were all watching Peter Rabbit and sipping warmed milk and tea.

'Peter Rabbit, Peter Rabbit...! Something something... Run for your life!' As he bounces up and down at the foot of the bed.

I'm Always Going to be Just a Little Bit Fat

I just want to lay this all out for you before I start talking about body image issues, at the time of writing I am a good size 14 - although this could all change on Friday night because I have a date with Dominoes..... Anyway have you now got an image in your mind of a slightly chubby Mum, in her PJ's eating pizza and sipping a bottle of Bud? Great, that's exactly what I'm going for - now we can begin.....