I Need To Talk To You About Lena Dunham

I need to talk to you about Lena Dunham.
I need to talk to you about how much I love Lena Dunham.
You will know her from the HBO series Girls, which she writes, directs and plays neurotic Hannah Horvath. But I know her from this article she wrote for the New Yorker last year : Growing Up in Therapy.
I don't know how I came across this piece (maybe I was googling 'why am I so weird?') but I am so glad I did. I've read it at least five times, I keep going back to it every now and then. I connect with it and have a 'oh thank god' moment everytime I read it. Its not glamourous, its not glossy if anything its hard to read because its very personal and very direct.
But it is very real.
Not everything she writes completely connects with me, I haven't had the same experiences as her exactly but the parts about death, health anxiety, worrying about the world and every little eventuality, resonate with me and how I felt as a teenager.
Its the rawness of it is thats important, the truth in it. Its the fact that thousands, millions of girls and women will read it, see it and hear a real message. If I was a young girl now having these issues, finding and reading this article would help me, it would make me realise that I'm not alone and that even 'celebrities', even people who are your idols or look like they've got it all, suffer from overwhelming thoughts and worries.

And so I loved Lena Dunham instantly, in the moment that I read that article because of the colossal balls she must have to write it.

Does Anyone Else Feel Like Their Blog is Their Therapist?

I've been properly blogging for almost three months now, when I first started I wasn't really clear on what I was doing or why. I just kind of started. I wrote a post, then another, then I sorted out my Twitter account, wrote some more, started a Facebook page and now its starting to become this amazing process that I really love.

Me vs Pinterest: The Lemon Puff Chronicles

I've written before about my inability to Pinterest - yes it's a verb!

I bloody love that app, it's so addictive- any vague thing I have an idea about, I can instantly obtain a far better one with the swipe of a finger. I don't even have to try and be creative I just tap away and steal someone else's idea. Fucking fabulous right? Trouble is I'm shit at it. Really shit. I do not have the talent, the patience or the utensils required to create anything remotely close to the gorgeous images I see on my screen. However, I will not be beaten. Pinterest will not beat me. I can tweet, I can instagram, I can fucking facebook my ass off and I will Pinterest if it kills me.

So I have set myself a challenge, to attempt one or two Pinterest Ideas each month. You need to keep an eye on these posts because one of two things are going happen. Either I am going to create fantastic dinners, cakes and crafts, which you will marvel at and be falling over yourself to get home and try. Or I am going to fuck this up so bad, there will be fires and hissy fits that will make you piss yourself laughing. Either way, you as the reader win. Me (and my poor family) will probably not win, we will probably get food poisoning and a divorce but hey life's all about the experiences right?

Don't Fear the C-Section

My son was born via emergency C-Section at almost midnight on a Tuesday in August, after 48 hours of induction nonsense, not a single push or any sleep.
Sounds dramatic doesn't it EMERGENCY CESAREAN? It really wasn't, it was all pretty calm and chilled and I had plenty of time to internalise and ask questions about what was about to happen. Thank god because I had not prepared for this eventuality in the slightest.

When I was first pregnant the idea of a Cesarean terrified me, actually terrified me, I would lie awake at night worrying that I would be the 1 in 4 who would have one. I thought it would kill me, I thought it would kill my baby. I thought the anesthetic wouldn't work and I would feel them cutting into me. I thought I'd bleed to death, I thought they'd cut through my baby, I thought I'd die on the table before I got to see him.
It worried me so much that in the end I blocked it out. I mentally removed it from my brain, I didn't even consider it, for me it was not a possibility. So much so that I didn't plan for it, I didn't educate myself about it. So naive was I in fact, that I couldn't bring myself to look at my C-Section scar for a whole week afterwards because I thought it was going to be this great massive hip to hip - stapled together flesh scar that I would never quite get over.
It wasn't so much that I desperately wanted the natural birth experience, it was just my negative view of C-Sections clouding my rational thought process. I didn't know anyone who had a cesarean, I had only ever heard negative things about them, I had only ever been told  'we hope that doesn't happen' or 'but don't worry that is very unlikely'.
It is not something that was ever discussed with me with my midwife and it was only briefly touched upon in the NHS antenatal classes. Sure we all spent an hour on floor doing a giant 'natural birth' process diagram/ jigsaw thing giving me all the information I already knew from basic GCSE biology and BabyCentre.com. But what about the other stuff? What about the less common and the less ideal? I'm not saying they should scare expectant mothers with horror birth stories but lets get real here, C-Sections are a reasonably common occurrence and they should try to prepare us for that eventuality.

I, myself with no birthing experience had a negative and prejudice opinion of C-sections - how did I get that opinion? I think from the media and sadly also from my peers.

10 Reasons Why Being a Working Mother Sucks Balls

This is an article I've had half drafted for a while, but I could never quite finish it off. I was worried it would come across as a woe is me post, my life is so hard post, I'm so exhausted post. But after a particularly shitty fortnight and just generally feeling like a crappy Mum, I read this piece The Working Mother by Learning To Be Mrs C and it just made me feel a lot better. I completely related to it and just felt relieved that I wasn't the only one struggling with the work/life balance. This is exactly why I love blogging,  you start to realise that you are not alone. You are not the only one.

As Mothers of this generation, the game is varied, the choices are different and the guilt is greater.

Should I Work? Can I Work? Do I Want to Work?

Should I Stay At Home? Can I Stay At Home? Do I Want to Stay At Home?

But the ultimate truth is we're all dealing with the same shit, our struggle is the same - its just the context that varies.

So here's my ten reasons why being a working mother sucks balls. I'm not saying being a working mum is harder than being a stay at home mum - who knows, who quite frankly cares? I don't, I'm far too fucking exhausted to worry about what everyone else is doing. This shit is hard and regardless of our 'parenting context' we all deserve a fucking medal.
If your a stay at home Mummy - please can you write 'Ten Reasons Why Being a SAHM Sucks Balls?' Then lets get together, compare notes and consume vast quantities of wine.
First bottle is on me!

Grandparent Guilt

Three days a week Finley spends his day with his two sets of Grandparents. We drop him off in the morning and pick him after tea but he spends his whole day with them, all day long for about ten hours. This is because we both have to work full time and we are seriously lucky to have two sets of parents who can step in and help us in this way. I know there are a lot of people out there who don't have the help that we do and we are aware of how fortunate we are in this regard. 

However, I do think that society wants me to feel bad about this set up. In that I should feel guilty for abandoning my child, burdening our parents and skipping off to work without a care in the world. I get this vibe from the media, from other parents and from people who comment about how much time my son spends at my Mum and Dads house. The implication of course, is that our parents shouldn't have to raise their children's children. 

Well no, they shouldn't.

World Mental Health Day 2015

Today is World Mental Health Day. Did you know...

 1 in 4 people are living with mental health illnesses

1 in 10 young people experience mental health issues

9 out of 10 people with mental health problems experience stigma and discrimination

To help raise awareness and get people talking about Mental Health issues, I ran a guest post series on my site this month, inviting writers to put pen to paper (or finger to screen) about their own experiences.

A number of talented and brave bloggers contacted me and I was honoured to share their personal stories and articles. Here are just a few snippets of the great writing that made this series so relevant and relatable:

Win a Witches Brew Halloween Treat Jar by Dirrty Pops !

Double double toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble!

Dirrty Pops who make delicious homemade treats have sent me a Witches Brew Halloween Treat Jar to giveaway to one of my lucky readers!
A witches cauldron full of delicious spooky treats for your children to eat, a really unique and creative Halloween gift, ideal for parties and even adults! 

The spooky treats include :
Broom Sweepings - Choc Lick Unicorn Horns - Chocolate Spinning Tops Witch Warts - Toffee Popcorn Cobwebs - White Candy Floss Graveyard Skulls - Jelly Filled Skulls Vampire Fangs - Jelly Vampire Fangs Eyeballs - Terror Bubble Gum Eyes Spider Eggs - Cherry Popping Candy

How To Scare The Anxiety Monster by Learning To Be Mrs C

The final guest post in our World Mental Health Day series is written by Heather at Learning to be...Mrs C. Heather lives in Yorkshire with her two daughters and is newly married ! She posts a rather entertaining Moaning Mondays, which often makes me laugh on miserable Monday mornings.

I'm Mrs C and I struggle with anxiety.

Boom. Now there's a way to ease you into a nice grab-a-brew-and-put-your-feet-up easy read. I feel like I should be sitting in a circle and sharing. But still, grab a brew and put your feet up. And maybe a chocolate hob nob.
Those opening words might seem awkwardly blunt. But that's the reality. And for a long time we've tried to fluff up these kind of issues, avoiding harsh terminology and playing them down to make them more palatable. But what it does is make them unreal. This post is part of a collaborative series which is all about being real women, with real lives, sharing real struggles.
Dealing with something that you can't use a sticky plaster on doesn't make you any less you. It doesn't make me any less...me. I still whistle out of tune and I still laugh when the children at school pass wind and pretend it wasn't them. I still do a little dance when I'm about to eat yummy food and I still cry at X Factor. I just also happen to have regular tussles with the anxiety monster. He's an ass.

She's Still A Princess by What My Fridge Says

The fourth post in our World Mental Health Day series is written by Lucy at What My Fridge Says.
Lucy's posts always start with an inspirational quote or message posted on her fridge. She also has a lot of sensory activities up her sleeves for toddlers!

Win A Cat Crayons Gift Box By Peanut and Gremlin

We were sent some brilliant handmade crayons for our childrens Halloween Party this year.
They came from Peanut and Gremlin who make a variety of hand crafted items for toddlers and children. Along with the ones sent for our party, they've given me an extra special gift box of cute cat crayons to give away to one lucky reader! You can enter the competition via the rafflecopter below.

Win a Ghost Window Sticker by Nutmeg !

We were sent some pretty spooky Ghost Window Stickers for our kids Halloween party this weekend.
Nutmeg Wall Stickers who design lovely window and wall decorations are also offering my lucky readers the chance to win one for their own spooky party!

Win a Personalised Super Hero Cape by EmmaCraftyMonkey !

This Halloween Finley was gifted an awesome, personalised superhero cape! The lovely company behind the cape, Emma Crafty Monkey are also offering my readers a chance to win one!
The cape is reversible with the name of the child on one side and the superhero logo on the reverse. It fastens by way of sewn on velcro. The fabric used for the cape is polycotton and the cotton fabric name letters are cut from a variety of marvel/superhero prints. The Superman shield is cut from felt and can be personalised with the initial of your child. The other logo's available are also made from felt. You can choose from Black, yellow, blue, red and pink (for the girly version).

Giveaway and Review - How To Halloween With Kids

This weekend we hosted a Halloween party for Finley and some of his friends. Whilst I wont mind letting Finley 'trick or treat' a few neighbours, I think the best way to celebrate Halloween with young children is to have a little party. I've always really loved Halloween and I jump at any opportunity to dress up and eat lots of sweets, seems my son is exactly the same!

Anxiety and Depression: My Story by Mayflower Blogs

The third post in our World Mental Health Day series has been written by Jemma from Mayflower Blogs.  Jemma is Mummy to her son and little daughter, her blog is family orientated and she often talks openly about current issues.

• 1 IN 4 PEOPLE will experience some kind of mental health problem in the course of the year.
• WOMEN are more likely to have been treated for a mental health problem than men, and about 10% of children have a mental health problem at any one time.
• DEPRESSION affects 1 in 10 older people. 
• SUICIDE rates show that British men are three times as likely to die by suicide and self harm, than British women, statistics for the UK show one of the highest rates in Europe.*

MONTH ROUND UP #SEPTEMBER

So last month I made the mistake of requesting a quiet September because August had been so manic. Ha! What a tit, I should have known better than to temp the Gods of chaos and disorder, because three days into the month in strolled trouble, right through our kitchen door.
Yes, the infamous Bubby-At the stray kitten entered our lives, started eating our food and watching us bathe (don't ask). No seriously she's really cute, you can read her and Finley's Best Buds for Life Story by clicking the link above.

PND : A Young Mothers Story by Thirty Something Belle

My first guest article in our World Mental Health Day series is written by Lisa from Thirty Something Belle. Lisa lives in Manchester, is Mum to two girls and is also a bit of a crazy cat lady like me!
She has a pretty cool sense of style and a vintage mirror that I would love to steal...
Lisa's article is about her experience of Post Natal Depression after a traumatic birth as a young mother.

I became a mother aged just 17 in June 2000. Unexpected and unsure of the road that lay ahead, I tried to embrace this life changing experience. My daughters arrival on this planet was less than smooth. A traumatic birth resulting in an emergency Caesarean section left me tired, confused and in pain. During the night, I was left alone with my new arrival and after a few nervous cuddles, I attempted to feed her. The feeling when she looked up into my eyes was indescribable. I was utterly in love. This beautiful child who was now completely dependent upon me to provide for all of her future needs - emotional and practical.

Agoraphobia : An Open Letter To Everyone Who Knows Me by Admissions of a Working Mother

The first post in our Mental Health series is written by myself and is about my experience with agoraphobia. I've written it to re-visit how I felt at my lowest but I have been doing quite well over the last few years and a lot of my problems I have overcome. Its something that will always be there, it never truly goes away, its just part of who I am but now I don't really notice it on an everyday basis and it definitely doesn't control my life.

Dear Everyone Who Knows Me,
I'm sorry if we got off on the wrong foot at some stage, if I came across as rude or unsociable. I'm not actually like that, its just I often feel quite anxious and panicky in social situations out of my comfort zone.
When I feel like this, its quite overwhelming and I have to fight hard to stop it taking control of me.  Its not that I don't want to talk to you or I don't have anything interesting to say, its just that I'm putting all my energy into staying in the room and its the most I can really manage.
And you know, its not that I don't want to eat your food or have a cup of tea, I can see that you went to a lot of trouble and I appreciate it. Its just that I feel so sick, my heart is racing, my mouth is dry and the idea of eating is completely impossible for me.
I know you aren't aware of this, you haven't a clue about the internal battle going on inside my head. You just think I'm a bit weird and impolite, I can tell by your strained attempts to talk to me and how you raise your eyebrows. I  know what you think about me, because I think similar things as well.