The Mothers Day Interviews: My Mum

This year to celebrate Mothers Day, I've interviewed a group of Mums that I particularly admire. They are all Mothers with different experiences, views, stories and opinions. Some are from the blogging and social media world whilst others are ones I know in real life. I'm running the series through out this week and we'll be talking about birth stories, parenting advice, sleep deprivation and much, much more!

My final interview in the series is with my own Mum, Ann. She's raised two girls from neurotic to rebellious and back again. She is the most patient, diplomatic and loving person I know. She's also pretty cool and will fight my corner no matter what.

What has been the most challenging aspect of being a Mother?
I don't think there is any one thing, being a mother is challenging, it's still challenging, you never stop being a mother.

What kind of Mum did you think you would be?
To be honest I didn't think about it much, I guess we all hope we will get it right, be loving, gentle, caring.

Did you turn out to be that kind or completely different?
Yes I was loving caring and gentle, I was also tired, tearful, desperate, sometimes bordering on hysterical and emotionally drained.

The Mothers Day Interviews: Cash Carraway

This year to celebrate Mothers Day, I've interviewed a group of Mums that I particularly admire. They are all Mothers with different experiences, views, stories and opinions. Some are from the blogging and social media world whilst others are ones I know in real life. I'm running the series through out this week and we'll be talking about birth stories, parenting advice, sleep deprivation and much, much more!

My fourth interview is with Cash Carraway, writer of the alternative lifestyle and family blog The Comeback Mum. Cash lives with her daughter in London and writes from her unique perspective on parenting, life, fashion and politics. I can't remember how I found Cash's blog but I did and its certainly one of my favourites. There's nothing I love better than brutal honesty and you'll find plenty of it there! I voted for this blog in last years Mumsnet Blogging awards when it was nominated for Best Writer and Best Campaigner. 

How did The Comeback Mum begin, have you written blogs before, are you a writer by trade?
Back in 2010 when I was pregnant and living in a women’s refuge I started a blog - which I am not allowed to name for legal reasons. Some pieces from it got re-published in magazines and I was approached about writing a book but then literally weeks after giving birth my blog became the subject of a court case. The case went on for two years in which I was not allowed to write anything for public consumption. It was a pretty soul destroying time so I hid away and focused solely on being a mum.
I finally pieced myself back together and started The Comeback Mum in 2015 because I really missed writing and blogging. And I’m so glad I did, it has changed my life!
In terms of a trade I guess I am a writer. I mean, it pays the bills and has done for a while. Before I had my daughter I wrote reviews for music magazines. Then I worked on the news desk of a hateful tabloid, then on a low ranking soap opera, I got sacked from both…

How do you feel about your social media following and influence?
Social media is lovely because it means quick connection. I love sharing stories, I love hearing stories and I guess social media is an instant outlet for that. Everyone on social media is influential whether you have one follower or one million – I love how it gives everyone a voice, regardless of whether or not you agree with them!

The Mothers Day Interviews : My Friend, Charlotte

This year to celebrate Mothers Day, I've interviewed a group of Mums that I particularly admire. They are all Mothers with different experiences, views, stories and opinions. Some are from the blogging and social media world whilst others are ones I know in real life. I'm running the series through out this week and we'll be talking about birth stories, parenting advice, sleep deprivation and much, much more!

This interview is with my friend Charlotte, we've known each other since we were nine years old. She's not a blogger or a social media fanatic, she's an actual real life person(!). Charlotte and her husband Alex had their first baby, William in November last year and are adjusting to being new parents.
If you've ever Googled "can you die of sleep deprivation?" at 4 am, you want to read this interview.

Can you tell us about your birth experience?
Well to be honest it was rather horrendous. I naively went into it thinking I would have a water birth and try hypno-birthing for pain relief. after all I thought, I had a high pain threshold and how bad could it really be if the human race is still thriving with most women happily having had more than one child?  Don't get me wrong I thought it would hurt but I wasn't really prepared for just how badly it would hurt or how crap I would feel afterwards.
To start, I went overdue which was rather depressing but apparently quite normal. For your information - curry and pineapple juice to induce labour do not work but feel free to try them if you're overdue and it makes you feel better! My contractions started on a Wednesday night at ten o'clock, they were coming every 5-10 minutes at first and didn't end until my baby boy arrived sixty-two hours later. Yes I did say, 62 hours. It was NOT like  mild period pain either, it was sixty-two hours of agonizing contractions.

Despite going to hospital on Friday morning I was sent home as I was only 3cm dilated! I think this was possibly one of the most depressing moments of my life. By the early hours of Saturday morning, the contractions were coming every three minutes, so we went back to the hospital. I was examined (quite roughly) by a midwife who proclaimed in a surprised voice "Oh your 8cm dilated! Well done, so do you want some pain relief now?"  By this stage I hadn't had so much as a Paracetamol so yes please I did want some pain relief! I was also informed that all the birthing pools were occupied. I didn't get the chance to try to hypnobirthing because by this point it was well out of the window along with my dignity!

The Mothers Day Interviews: Danielle Parry

This year to celebrate Mothers Day, I've interviewed a group of Mums that I particularly admire. They are all Mothers with different experiences, views, stories and opinions. Some are from the blogging and social media world whilst others are ones I know in real life. I'm running the series through out this week and we'll be talking about birth stories, parenting advice, sleep deprivation and much, much more!

My second interview is with Danielle Parry, who I (like many others) follow on Instagram. She takes some brilliant photos of her life with her son Gruffydd and they are always accompanied by a frank and often hilarious caption! Following her birth experience (which you can read more about below), Danielle found herself in the local newspaper and being interviewed on Good Morning Britain. If you value a Mother who tells you how it is and isn't a "coconut oiled vegan", you'll want to read this interview.

Who is your idol or hero and why?
My ultimate hero in life is, has, and always will be my Nan. We had the most wonderful relationship and she has influenced me to become the person I am today. She was diagnosed with terminal cancer when I was 16 weeks pregnant with my son and unfortunately passed just a few short days after he was born. I’m not a religious person, however I do believe there is a reason for everything and the fact I fell pregnant when I did was a little sign of hope. Without him I don’t know how I would have coped. My Nan was louder than life, and was never afraid to say it how it was, I feel that this attitude has passed down to me and I still can’t decide if it’s a positive or not!

There is not a day that goes past when I don't miss her. The stories she would tell of what she got up to in the 60s, her road rage at 'slow women drivers' or quite simply someone who would be there to listen to me chat for hours about the most mundane subjects, yet showing great interest. Near her death she would say that she'd had the most amazing life and has the most loving family around her, all she wanted to do was hold on long enough to meet my son and she did. When I've reached the winter of my life, I want nothing more to be able to look back and have that same peace, the ability to know that if death is imminent, I can be happy with how my life has been. Knowing that she felt this was inspires me daily and will do for everyday I am here on earth.

Don't Fear the C-Section

My son was born via emergency C-Section at almost midnight on a Tuesday in August, after 48 hours of induction nonsense, not a single push or any sleep.
Sounds dramatic doesn't it EMERGENCY CESAREAN? It really wasn't, it was all pretty calm and chilled and I had plenty of time to internalise and ask questions about what was about to happen. Thank god because I had not prepared for this eventuality in the slightest.

When I was first pregnant the idea of a Cesarean terrified me, actually terrified me, I would lie awake at night worrying that I would be the 1 in 4 who would have one. I thought it would kill me, I thought it would kill my baby. I thought the anesthetic wouldn't work and I would feel them cutting into me. I thought I'd bleed to death, I thought they'd cut through my baby, I thought I'd die on the table before I got to see him.
It worried me so much that in the end I blocked it out. I mentally removed it from my brain, I didn't even consider it, for me it was not a possibility. So much so that I didn't plan for it, I didn't educate myself about it. So naive was I in fact, that I couldn't bring myself to look at my C-Section scar for a whole week afterwards because I thought it was going to be this great massive hip to hip - stapled together flesh scar that I would never quite get over.
It wasn't so much that I desperately wanted the natural birth experience, it was just my negative view of C-Sections clouding my rational thought process. I didn't know anyone who had a cesarean, I had only ever heard negative things about them, I had only ever been told  'we hope that doesn't happen' or 'but don't worry that is very unlikely'.
It is not something that was ever discussed with me with my midwife and it was only briefly touched upon in the NHS antenatal classes. Sure we all spent an hour on floor doing a giant 'natural birth' process diagram/ jigsaw thing giving me all the information I already knew from basic GCSE biology and BabyCentre.com. But what about the other stuff? What about the less common and the less ideal? I'm not saying they should scare expectant mothers with horror birth stories but lets get real here, C-Sections are a reasonably common occurrence and they should try to prepare us for that eventuality.

I, myself with no birthing experience had a negative and prejudice opinion of C-sections - how did I get that opinion? I think from the media and sadly also from my peers.

We're Being Questioned by the Baby Police

Since Finley turned two, its been like a red rag to a bull for people asking if we're going to have another baby yet.

'Must be time for another don't you think?'

Seriously, is two years like the magic number or something? Is that a deadline I didn't know about? Am I falling behind on some baby schedule production line?

10 Things I Wish I Could Tell Pregnant Me

1. You Don't Need All That Cotton Wool
You've bought shit loads of cotton wool, in like 5 different varieties - you are completely ridiculous. From Day Two you will be using baby wipes because cotton wool is a giant pain in the arse.

2. Don't Re-decorate Your House
You've got someone coming in to re-paint every wall during the first week of your maternity leave. What are you thinking? Its August, its 30 degrees, you live in a tiny little flat and you are the size of a house. Fool.

3. You Have No Fucking Clue How to Swaddle a Baby
If you can't do it now with an inanimate teddy bear, you wont be able to do it with a screaming, wriggling baby. Give it up.

I'm a Google Parent

If I have a question about parenting I Google it. Before I talk to anyone else about it I turn to the Google Gods.
If my toddler says NO to everything, I Google it.
If my toddler will only eat cheese for 3 days, I Google it.
If my toddler keeps bashing me over the head with a Fire Engine and hysterically laughing, I Google it.
Google is my go to source for parenting advice and I'm not sure if that's really ok.

You'll know, when we know.

So my TimeHop app reminded me this morning that today two years ago was my due date.

The 12^th August 2013.