Showing posts with label dummies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dummies. Show all posts

No More Cot Prison


Increasingly we are becoming aware that we're living on borrowed time with Finley still sleeping in his baby cot. He's fast approaching the two and a half years old mark now and every noise, every creak we hear from upstairs whilst trying to eat our dinner, we convince ourselves that he's finally done it. He's finally figured out how to throw himself over the side and make a break for freedom. Any second he'll come bumping down the stairs on his 'bum-bum' asking for a biscuit or a drink or a story and that will be it. Game over. No more cot prison. The enjoyment of our evenings will be subject to his free will and our ability (or lack of) to discipline him. Luckily for us its not happened yet, but now I've put that in writing it probably will tonight of course...

10 Things I Wish I Could Tell Pregnant Me



1. You Don't Need All That Cotton Wool
You've bought shit loads of cotton wool, in like 5 different varieties - you are completely ridiculous. From Day Two you will be using baby wipes because cotton wool is a giant pain in the arse.

2. Don't Re-decorate Your House
You've got someone coming in to re-paint every wall during the first week of your maternity leave. What are you thinking? Its August, its 30 degrees, you live in a tiny little flat and you are the size of a house. Fool.

3. You Have No Fucking Clue How to Swaddle a Baby
If you can't do it now with an inanimate teddy bear, you wont be able to do it with a screaming, wriggling baby. Give it up.